As Time Goes By
by Misha
Summary: The loss of someone dear brought them all back to the same place and brought the past back with vivid clarity... MerMark, Addek, MerDer, Maddison
1. Part One: Beautiful Goodbye

As Time Goes By  
By Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own "Grey's Anatomy", if I did Derek and Meredith would be together, it belongs to people with a lot more money than me. I'm not making any money off of this, so please don't sue me. Thanks.

Author's Notes- I'm starting another story. Yes, I know I have lots, btu I can't help it. I'll warn you right now, this one is confusing. It's not told in chronological order, in fact it skips all over the place. It starts in 2015 and moves back, but it doesn't move steadily back and it will move forward again and then back again, jumping all over the place. I just find that's how this story wants to be written, in one little piece at a time. It's a Mark/Meredith story, because I like the idea of the two of them ending up together. Derek and Addison will be major characters in this, because how could they not be, but I'm not sure if there will be any Addek, at least in a happy way. There will be Addek angst, of course, along with Maddison angst and MerDer angst. It's a look at a series of events that all tie together and lead the four of them to where they are, which is why it's so chaotic in its timeline, because each individual bit has its place. I'm going to stop trying to explain it, because I think once you read it, you'll see it does work, in it's own weird way. That's all for now.

Pairings- Mark/Meredith, minor Derek/Meredith, Derek/Addison, Mark/Addison.

Summery- The loss of someone dear brought them all back to the same place and brought the past back with vivid clarity...

Rating- PG-13

Spoilers- Up to "Losing My Religion".

* * *

Part One- Beautiful Goodbye  
_  
Seattle 2015_

"Ready to go, Mere?" Mark Sloane asked softly, coming up behind his wife who was staring into the bedroom mirror. He knew this would be hard on her and he wished he could make it easier for her.

Meredith Grey-Sloane nodded slowly. "I just can't believe he's really gone." She whispered, turning to her husband with sad eyes. She couldn't believe that in less than an hour she'd be sitting in a crowded room preparing to say goodbye to a man who had been like a father to her. But it was true. Richard Webber was gone.

"I know." Mark whispered soothingly, wrapping his arms around her, his hands resting on her pregnant belly. "I know." 

Meredith took a deep breath and then turned to face her husband. "Let's go, I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

Mark nodded and took her hand to lead her downstairs. Abbie, their usual baby-sitter, was waiting in the living room.

"We'll be a few hours." Mark told her. "We'll have our cellphones, but they'll be off during the actual service of course."

"That's fine." Abbie told him. "We shouldn't have any problems." 

Meredith gave her a shaky smile and then leaned down to say goodbye to her three children. There was 6 year-old Ellie, Ellis Christina, 4 year-old A.J, Alexander James, and 15 month old Grace Isobel.

"Be good for Abbie." Meredith instructed A.J and Ellie, before giving Grace a quick kiss and then letting her husband escort her out of the house and to their car.

"Mere, you know that--" Mark began slowly.

"I know." Meredith said quietly, because she did know what he was about to say. 

But the truth was, it didn't really matter, not today and maybe not at all, anymore. Meredith had found that the best way to be happy in life, was to leave the past in the past and just focus on the present. You couldn't change what had happened, couldn't erase it, but you could move past it and that's what she had done. 

"Christina told me, I guess Preston was in contact with them. It's okay. It's been years." Meredith assured her husband, then she looked at him. "Are you okay?"

After all, she wasn't the only one affected. It wasn't just _her_ past, but both of their's.

Mark nodded. "Yes. All that, it's the past." He assured her, smiling warmly at her. "My life is with you and our kids, nothing can change that."

* * *

Derek Shepherd made his way into the church and took his seat.

Here he was, back in Seattle, after he had sworn never to return. Of course, it was only temporary and couldn't have been avoided. After all, Richard Webber had been Derek's friend and mentor, and Derek wanted to be there to show his respect, even if it meant returning to a place that held too many memories and too many people he never wanted to see again.

Derek couldn't believe that Richard was really dead. He had been a part of Derek's life for a long time, but he was and his death had brought Derek back to the place where the worst mistakes of his life had been made. He'd rather have never come back, not have to be faced with those memories...

"Can I sit here?"

Derek looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. Speaking of being confronted with painful memories... "Sure." He said quietly, not sure what else to say. He didn't want to make a scene, not here, today.

"You look good, Addison." He told his ex-wife quietly, giving a quick look-over. It was the truth. Addison had always been a stunning woman and that hadn't changed.

Derek was surprised by the lack of emotions running through him when he looked at her. Their divorce and what had happened afterwards, hadn't been pretty, there had been a lot of bad blood between them and some very ugly memories, yet Derek didn't really feel anything. Maybe a bit of regret and some fondness, but no anger or bitterness, all that had faded.

But then again, their divorce had been final eight years before and it had been four years since they had seen each other, maybe it was natural that the hard feelings had evaporated.

"You too." Addison told him with a smile. "It's been a long time, Derek." 

"Yes, it has." He agreed quietly. "So Chicago, huh? How do you like that?"

"It's good." Addison told him. "It's different, but nice. How about you? How's New York?"

"Same old." Derek told her, finding it amusing that he was sitting here chatting with the woman he had spent fourteen years married to like they had never been more than casual acquaintances.

Suddenly, Addison stiffened beside him.

Derek followed her gaze and felt himself stiffen as well. He might not have a lot of reaction to his ex-wife, but the sight of his former best friend and the woman who might have been the love of his life still caused a huge jolt of pain.

Being away from Seattle, he was almost about to forget about Mark and Meredith and the ironic ending to their messy romantic drama. The fact that by the time Derek and Addison had stopped trying to save their marriage and were ready to move on, Mark and Meredith had already moved on, with each other, and had somehow managed to get the only happy ending in the story.

* * *

Mark could see that Addison and Derek were staring at him and Meredith as they entered the church, but he ignored them and focused on leading his wife to a pew.

Today wasn't about them or about what had happened a decade before. It was about a great man who had died, a man who had meant a lot to Mark's wife and whom he, himself, had come to like and respect very much.

Mark kept his arm tight around Meredith's expanding waist as he helped her to her seat near the front of the church, next to Preston and Christina Burke.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear as they sat down.

Meredith smiled at him. "I love you too." She whispered back, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Mark couldn't resist one glance behind him to where Addison and Derek were sitting. It was because of the two of them that he had found such happiness, though in a weird way. If Addison hadn't broken his heart and Derek hadn't made such a mess out of Meredith, then they would never have found each other. Mark almost owed them a thank you.

Almost.

* * *

Addison knew she should be focused on the service that was about to start, the funeral of a great man, whom she cared a great deal for. Enough to return to Seattle, a place that held nothing but bad memories.

Still, she couldn't help but be distracted by Mark and Meredith. She stared at them, looking at the picture they made. They were a gorgeous couple, there was no denying that.

Meredith looked so pretty and fragile, cradled against Mark as he led her to their seat and then held her close, her head on his shoulder. It was apparent that Meredith was pregnant and Addison wondered what number it would make, because she knew it wasn't their first child.

She had to admit that Meredith was glowing with her pregnancy, even now, when she was obviously very distressed. Of course, Addison was sure that Mark was pampering her, because that was the kind of man he was. It might not be obvious when you first met him, but Mark had a huge protective streak.

In a lot of ways, it was how the whole mess had started, because Addison had awakened those instincts in Mark and everything had developed from there. Including the fact that, in the end, Addison's mistakes had cost her marriage and her closest friend and both she and Derek had ended up alone, while their dirty mistresses ended up together. Now that was karma for you. 

Addison turned her gaze away from Mark and Meredith and looked at Derek, instead. She'd handled the whole situation badly, though she hadn't been the only one. Derek had made his share of mistakes.

Still, it wasn't surprising that she'd ended up alone, maybe it was even what she deserved. She wasn't really complaining, she had a good life in Chicago and she was happy, but Addison did wonder what would have happened if she and Derek had been able to make their marriage work.

Or even what would have happened if she'd accepted the end of her marriage gracefully and chosen Mark when it was still an option, before he'd moved on with his life.

Addison figured that it was only natural to wonder...

* * *


	2. Part Two: She's Having A Baby

As Time Goes By  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Two- She's Having A Baby

_New York 2008_

"I'm pregnant."

Mark froze at the words and turned around slowly to look at the pretty blonde woman standing there. "What?" He asked, afraid that he had heard her wrong.

Meredith smiled shakily. "You heard me. I'm pregnant. We're having a baby." 

Mark closed his eyes. A baby. He and Mere were having a baby. "Is that my answer?" Mark asked after a moment, still not making any move to go to Meredith.

As thrilled as he was about the revelation, he didn't like the sudden thought that she was there _because _of the baby and not for any other reason. The last time he had seen her, he had made it clear that he wanted it all or nothing.

"Yes." Meredith told him warmly. "The answer is yes."

Yes. Mark let a little breath at the words, but still didn't move.

"It would have been anyway." She assured him. "I just wanted to wait until I knew for sure about the baby, because I already suspected. I thought it made it better."

Mark stepped forward then and took Meredith in his arms, spinnign her around. She was right, knowing made it so much better. It just reaffirmed the fact that they were going to have it all.

"It does." He told her, kissing her passionately. "I love you."

"I love you too." Meredith told him with a laugh. "I really do love you."

Mark smiled at the woman in his arms. Neither of them had planned on falling in love, had never even thought it would be possible. When they had slept together on New Year's Eve over a year and a half before, they had both been drunk and lonely and it was supposed to be a one night stand. Yet, it had kept happening over and over and it soon became about more than Derek and Addison, it had become about them and they had built a real relationship out of it.

One day Mark had woken up and realized that his feelings had changed and that his thoughts of Addison had been replaced by thoughts of an irresistible blonde intern. He had fallen in love with Meredith Grey and the day he really realized that was the day Addison showed up on his door, finally wanting him. But it had been too late, Mark had moved on and now, he and Meredith were getting married and they were having a baby.

Mark pulled away from the kiss and reached into his pocket. "I believe this is yours." He told Meredith, holding out the little velvet box he had taken to carrying around with him.

"You carry it on you?" Meredith asked in disbelief, even as she held out her hand.

"I'm an eternal optimist." Mark told her, slipping the ring on her finger. "I wanted to make sure I had it with me when the moment came."

In the two weeks since he had proposed to Meredith and then returned to New York to await her answer, the ring had become a talisman faith for him. He kept it with him because it represented the future he wanted so badly. The future that he and Meredith were going to have together.

Meredith smiled and kissed him again. "We're going to be so happy." She murmured against his lips.

"Yes, we are." Mark agreed, resting his hand on her still-flat belly. "The dirty mistresses are going to live happily ever after."

* * *

Derek froze at the sight that greeted him as he turned the corner. He had come looking for Mark because he had to ask him for a consult, something he hated to do.

They worked at the same hospital and had since Derek's return from Seattle, but they weren't on good terms and Derek doubted they ever would be. Between the fact that Mark had slept with Derek's wife and that he was currently sleeping with Derek's ex-girlfriend... 

Which brought Derek back to the sight in front of him, Meredith wrapped in Mark's arms, his hand on her belly. They made an attractive couple, one that was a deep blow to Derek. He rarely saw them together and he was grateful, because every time he did, he felt like his heart was being cut out. It always made him realize what an idiot he had been and what he had thrown away...

"Dr. Sloane, I hate to interrupt, but I need a consult." Derek said after a moment, his voice icy.

"Derek." Mark acknowledged, pulling away from Meredith. "You can be the first to congratulate me. I'm going to be a father."

Derek felt like he'd been slapped. Father. Meredith was pregnant. With Mark's baby. Derek looked at her, catching sight of the flashy diamond on her hand, but she turned away from him, not meeting his gaze.

Mark, on the other hand, stared right at him, a cocky look on his face.

"Congratulations." Derek choked out, his voice cold and stilted. "Now about that consult?" 

"Of course." Mark said, suddenly all professional. But then why wouldn't he be? He had gotten his dig in and he knew it. "I'll be with you in a minute." Mark turned to Meredith. "I'll see you later, ok, sweetheart?"

Meredith nodded, smiling warmly. "I'll be at your apartment." She gave Mark a quick kiss and then walked away without a word to Derek, having never acknowledged his presence. It was like that almost every time they met and had been since the day he had come to her, assuming she'd take him back...

Derek watched her go, wondering for a millionth time how he could have been such a fool as to let her slip go...

* * *

Meredith hurried out of the hospital. Running into Derek always made her uncomfortable. There was too much history there. She especially hated running in to him today, because it felt like it tainted things.

Today was a happy day, one that was all about her and Mark, Derek deserved no part of that. Yes, technically, she wouldn't have Mark, if it wasn't for Derek, but...

Meredith shook her head. She wasn't going to spoil her happy mood with thoughts of Derek Shepherd and their unhappy past. She had moved past it, moved on with her life and now she had a wonderful future to look forward to with Mark and their baby.

Derek had damaged her, but he hadn't broken her like she once feared. Or if he had, she had healed. Mark had healed her, Mark who was the real love of her life.

Meredith smiled to herself. There was a time when she had thought that her life was over when Derek had chosen Addison over her, that she'd never be happy again, but in the end it had led to the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Meredith looked down at the ring shining on her finer. It was symbol of all the things that were finally going right in her life. Meredith could hardly bare to believe it, but somehow, she had managed to find the happy ending.

Meredith smiled to herself, now that it was official, she had a phone call to make. She would wait until she was back in Seattle to share the news with most people, but there was one person she wanted to tell right away, since that person had been pivotal in helping lead her to where she was.

No, she definitely had a phone call to make.

* * *

"They're having a baby."

Addison looked up from the chart she was reading to see her ex-husband standing there, waiting for her reaction. "Lots of people are having babies, so you'll have to be more specific." She commented calmly, concentrating on her chart. "Who, exactly, are you talking about?"

Addison had to admit she was really curious. It was unusual for Derek to seek her out, they usually tried to avoid one another, just like they both did with Make, which made it a little awkward at times since they all worked in the same hospital. For the most part, they all managed to be civil when they were forced to interact, but it wasn't easy. They were lucky it was a big hospital.

"Mark and Meredith." Derek told her flatly. "They're having a baby."

Addison dropped the chart and stared at her ex-husband, just frozen in shock. The news hurt more than she was prepared for. It was a combination of things that made it hurt so much. Addison was perfectly aware that Mark was involved with Derek's ex-mistress, it was no secret, but she hadn't wanted to think of it as that serious. Add that to her own inability to conceive and it certainly wasn't news that put Addison in the mood for celebrating.

"How do you know?" She asked after a minute, still trying to gather herself together.

"He told me." Derek said flatly, making a face. "He was quite eager for me to know."

Addison felt a twinge of bitterness at how upset Derek obviously was. She wondered if he'd be as upset if _she _was the one having Mark's baby. Probably not. Of course, that wasn't an option, if babies had been an option for her then she and Derek would still be married and Mark would still be their friend.

Besides, in the end, she didn't matter, it was Meredith Grey everyone wanted, not her. After all, both Derek and Mark had chosen the blonde intern, actually she was a resident now, in the end and both of them had walked away from _her, _Addison. 

"I thought we could go and have a drink to... _celebrate._" Derek told her bitterly. "I don't want to be alone."

"Me either." Addison agreed, though she wasn't sure that going out with her ex-husband was the best idea.

Their divorce had been ugly and bitter and a year later, they were just starting to be civil again and adding alcohol to the mix probably wasn't smart. Yet... Derek was the only person who could relate to what Addison was feeling right now, after hearing that particular news and she needed that.

Besides, she **really** didn't want to be alone that night.

* * *


	3. Part Three: Wonderful Tonight

As Time Goes By  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Three- Wonderful Tonight

"I'm getting married." Meredith announced over the phone, smiling even though the person on the other end couldn't see it.

"You called me long distance to tell me that?" Was the response you got. "You do realize that I just worked 72 hours straight and I was actually, you know, _sleeping_."

Meredith's smile grew. "Sorry." She said unrepentantly. "I wanted you to be the first to know, after it's all your fault."

There was a chuckle on the other end. "Well, someone had to step in and push you in the right direction." Alex told her, and Meredith was willing to bet that he was smirking. "God knows you shouldn't be allowed to make your own decisions. So you're putting the poor guy out of his misery, huh?"

"I am." Meredith said giddily. "You were right, I was projecting all my fears onto the situation. How I felt about my parents and about Derek and making a mess of it."

After Mark had issued his ultimatum proposal, Meredith hadn't known what to do because the idea of marriage terrified her. It had been Alex that had shown her why and made her see that just because her parents had screwed up and Derek and Addison had made a huge mess of it all, that the same wasn't necessary true for her and Mark. After all, it was up to her to make her own destiny.

"Yes, how about that, I can be right sometiems." Alex said dryly. "So when are you going to make the big announcement? You know Izzie will be bouncing around, making plans and driving us all nuts."

"When I get back to Seattle in a few days." Meredith told him. "As I said, I wanted you to be the first to know."

It was odd, but in the last year and a half, Meredith and Alex had become very close. It had been a combinationn of understanding and being able to relate to one another, weird circumstances, and having spent six hours strapped in an elevator together during one of Meredith's romantic crisises. The result of it all was that Meredith valued Alex amongst her closest friends, though she was willing to admit that he was still a jackass sometimes. It didn't hurt that Mark and Alex got along really well.

"Be happy, Mere." Alex told her. "You deserve it."

"Thanks." Meredith said and then smiled. "I am happy, I really am."

* * *

Addison sat across from Derek at a small table at the bar they had always frequented together. She hadn't been there since before Derek had left New York to go to Seattle, there were just too many memories, but it had seemed natural to go there that night. 

"So she's pregnant." Addison stated into the awkward silence.

"Yeah." Derek agreed quietly. "She's pregnant."

"It really shouldn't be that much of a surprise." Addison commented, her voice laced with bitterness. "It's probably natural that she'd want babies. She's young and got good genes and she wouldn't be the first resident to have a baby."

Addison remembered when she was a resident and she and Derek had made that decision, to decide to try. Addison remembered that time all too well. All the times she had stared at the home pregnancy tests, willing them to change. All the tests she and Derek had undergone and the results that she had understood all too well.

That had been the beginning of the end for her and Derek, before Mark and Meredith had marked the official end. And now, she was sitting her with her ex-husband because their respective ex-lovers were about to have the baby that they never could. Just another way for fate to laugh in her face.

"She didn't even look at me." Derek complained bitterly. "It was as if I was a total stranger or not there at all."

Addison stifferend. She had agreed to go with Derek because she hadn't wanted to be alone and she knew he was going through the exact same thing she was. However, she was not prepared to hear him lament the fact that his ex-mistress had moved on with her life.

"We're not talking about your relationship with Meredith Grey." Addison warned im. "I don't want to hear it."

Derek had the grace to look ashed. "I'm sorry Addie." He told her, then sighed. "Do you ever wish sometimes that we had let go a little sooner? Before they got sick of waiting for us and decided to move on with their lives?"

Addison smiled bitterly. She wished that all the time. Maybe she could have been happy with Mark, if she had just let Derek go and accepted that their marriage had been over long before he had caught her in bed with his best friend.

But she had been determined to hang onto her marriage, not wanting to let eleven years of life go without a fight, and Mark had gotten tired of waiting. As she and Derek circled around each other, clinging to something that had ended years before, Mark moved on with his life. Moved on with Meredith Grey.

"I do wish that." She told him, downing her drink in one quick go. "God, do I ever."

* * *

Mark entered his apartment and smiled when he saw the candles on the table and the beautiful woman waiting for him. 

"Sorry, I'm late." He told her, giving her a quick kiss. "My surgery took longer than expected."

Meredith smiled at her. "That's fine. I haven't actually ordered food yet. I was waiting for you."

"You mean you didn't make me a home cooked meal?" Mark teased, taking her in his arms.

Meredith just smiled at him. "You can have a woman who can cook or you can have me, which would you prefer?"

"You." Mark told her, holding her close. "Only you. This amazing, talented, beautiful woman who has agreed to marry me and who is having my child."

Meredith beamed at him. "I love you." She said quietly. Mark grinned and swept her up off her feet and into his arms. "Now, how should we celebrate?"

"I'm sure you can think of something." Meredith said coyly, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

Mark was reminded once again how much he loved this woman. This woman who had turned out to be the love of his life, who had snuck up on him when he had least expected it. He had never even imagined that he would find true love with Derek's slutty intern and yet... Now, he couldn't imagine his life without her and she was going to be his wife and have his child. Life was definitely good.

Mark smiled down at Meredith. "Let me show you what I have in mind." He gave her another kiss and then carried her out of the room towards the bedroom, ready to show her exactly what he had in mind.

* * *

Derek groaned, as he sat up. Definitely too much scotch, that was for sure. 

Derek suddenly realized he wasn't alone and his eyes widened at horror at the familiar form naked in the bed to next to him. Somehow, he had gotten so drunk that he had ended up having sex with his ex-wife. Not good.

Derek tried to remember what had exactly lead to that, but it was all blurry. He just knew that somehow his depression over Mark and Meredith's news had lead to him getting drunk and having sex with his ex-wife. Whcih was really ironic, since Derek was perfectly aware taht Mark and Meredith had gotten together because they had been depressed over him and Addison, got drunk and had sex.

"Derek?" Addison murmered, sititng up. "Oh God."

That pretty much summed it up.

"We didn't do this." Addison said quietly.

"Unfortunately, we did." Derek agreed.

"That's the reaction a woman loves to hear after sleeping with a man." Addison said dryly.

"Addison, don't." Derek said quietly. "We both know that last night was a mistake that should never have happened."

Addison was quiet. "We're pretty good at that." She said after a moment. "Making mistakes, I mean."

"Addie." Derek said softly.

"No, Derek, it's okay." Addison said softly. "For the record I actually agree with you. Sleeping with you last night was a royal mistake, but as I said, we're pretty good at those."

Derek had to agree with her. After all, he and Addison had made more than their share of mistakes. That was for sure.

* * *


	4. Part Four: Something to Talk About

As Time Goes By  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Four- Something to Talk About

_New Year's Eve 2006/2007_

"Happy fucking New Year." Meredith muttered as she downed a shot of tequila.

"I'll drink to that." Mark said, sitting down on the barstool next to her.

"You're still here." Meredith commented.

"Signed a fucking contract." Mark told her. "I'll be here for the next seven months. Here with all the rain and all the married togetherness."

"They're sickening aren't they?" Meredith asked him. "The way they pretend that they're perfectly happy?"

She was talking about Derek and Addison, of course, and the fact that the Shepherd's were once again giving their marriage a chance. Despite the dirty prom sex and the fact that Addison had called Mark out and had him fly across the country again. Nope, that happened, but despite getting Meredith and Mark's hopes up, they dashed them again.

"They suck." Mark agreed. "And we suck for letting them do this to us over and over."

"We do." Meredith agreed. "That's my resolution. To put Dr. McSleezy behind me once and for all. I'm done."

"Sounds good." Mark said, downing his drink. "I'm done too. Want to be done together?"

Meredith looked at him, her fellow dirty mistress, and smiled. "Yeah. Lets be done together."

* * *

_A Month Later  
_  
"So, this morning, guess who was in our kitchen, demanding coffee?"

Derek paused, unable to resist listening in on the conversation between the two interns, Meredith's best friends.

"Who?" Christina asked, sounding resigned. "Who'd she sleep with now?"

"Mark Sloane." Izzie said in a low voice.

"Again?!" Christina asked in disbelief. "That's been happening pretty regularly hasn't it?"

Derek felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Meredith and _Mark_? How could she do that to him? And apparently it wasn't even the first time. Derek stalked away, only to run straight into Meredith.

"Dr. Shepherd." She acknowledged and went to turn away again.

"You really will sleep with anyone, won't you?" He asked quietly.

She turned back and stared at him. "_Excuse _me."

"Mark? Really?" Derek asked her, unable to help it. "Are you really that easy or did you just want revenge?"

"I wanted comfort." Meredith told him. "Because I was getting drunk over you yet again. Because remember, you screwed me around. Again. And he was there and he knows what it felt like and he made me better. So, no, it wasn't about you. It was about _me_."

"Well, apparently, it's been about you a lot." Derek said bitterly. "How long has this been going on?"

"You know what, it's none of your business." Meredith told him, shaking her head. "It's not about you."

"I think it is." Derek argued, glaring at her. "After all, why else would you have slept with Mark, if not to get back at me?"

* * *

Addison stood and watched, along with a crowd of curious spectators, as her husband and his ex-girlfriend got into it into public.

"I didn't sleep with Mark because of you!" Meredith was saying. "Or at least not to get back at you, believe me, Derek, not everything I do is aimed at you. Sometimes, I just try to survive."

Addison felt like she had been punched. Mark and Meredith?! She knew it shouldn't bother her, but it did. It really, really did.

"What's going on here?" Addison wondered where Mark had come from, but there he was, getting in between Derek and Meredith.

"Stay out of this, Mark." Derek said nastily. "It has nothing to do with you."

"I don't know, it sounds like it does." Mark said. "After all, I am sleeping with her. Which is the problem, isn't it?"

Addison watched the two men stare each down over Meredith Grey and wondered if either of them was aware of her presence. Probably not. Hell, they probably weren't even aware of _Meredith's _presence any longer, because they were in pretty typical male pissing contest mode.

Typical. Addison rolled her eyes and walked away, deciding she didn't want to watch any more of this. If she did, she might be sick.

* * *

Mark stared down Derek. He had heard the confrontation from down the hall and there was no way he wasn't getting involved. He knew what Derek was like when he was angry and Meredith didn't deserve that. Derek had put her through enough.

"Just leave her alone, Derek." He said quietly, not wanting to get angry. "You've done enough damage."

"I've _done_ damage?" Derek asked in disbelief, he turned to Meredith. "Do you know what you're in for? He's a user, Meredith, he's good at destroying people. Do you really want that?"

Meredith burst out laughing. "That's rich." She said, shaking her head. "You _used _me. You broke me. You discarded me. And you have the nerve to warn me about Mark? God, you're a jackass."

Mark watched with a smile. It was about time she finally stood up to him. He wasn't sure what was going on between them, besides mutual comfort and fantastic sex, but as he watched her stand up to Derek, he felt something really unfamiliar rush through him.

"He's going to hurt you." Derek warned.

"He can't." Meredith. "At least not as much as you did." She shook her head. "You know, what I'm done here. I have nothing to say to you." She turned to walk away and then turned back. "Mark, are you coming?"

Mark grinned and grabbed her hand. "Lead the way."

With that, the two of them walked away, leaving Derek glaring after them, Mark was sure. He smiled at Meredith, feeling really, really proud of her. She was quite the amazing lady, that was for sure.

* * *


	5. Part Five: Time After Time

As Time Goes By  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Five: Time After Time

_Seattle, 2015_

"Meredith."

Meredith turned at the sound of her name and forced a polite smile on her face at the sight of Addison. "Addison."

"You look well." The other woman said awkwardly. "How far along are you?"

"Five months." Meredith told her quietly.

Addison nodded. "And this is number..."

"Four." Meredith said, resting her hand on her belly. "We have two daughters and a son. This one's a boy too."

"Two of each." Addison stated with a slightly bitter smile. "How perfect. Mark must be thrilled."

"I am." Mark said, coming up behind Meredith.

She beamed up at him, glad for his presence, though she was sure it would make conversation even more awkward. If such thing was possible.

"How are you, Addie?" Mark asked, his arm wrapped tightly around Meredith's waist.

"I'm good." Addison said softly. "And you?"

"I'm good." Meredith told her. "Healthy. So far this is easiest pregnancy I've had."

"That's good." Addison said quietly. "It often works like that. One pregnancy will be difficult, but the next will be easy."

Meredith was quiet. She had seen Addison more recently than Derek, the last time being when A.J was born. The pregnancy had been complicated, both Meredith and A.J had almost died and Addison had had to be called in.

There had been debate about calling her specifically, and Meredith was sure she hesitated before accepting, but her life was in danger and Addison was the best. So she had come and thanks to her Meredith and A.J had both survived.

"I see George and Izzie over there." Meredith said softly. "I should go say hi."

She hadn't seen her friends in some time, after all they had left Seattle to do their fellowships in Boston and she was eager to catch up, despite the sad circumstances, and also eager to get away from the awkwardness of talking to Addison. Maybe it was cowardly, but who could blame her?

* * *

  
"Are you happy Mark?" Addison asked as Meredith hurried away. She couldn't blame the other woman for running, she was tempted to do the same.

"Yes." He answered without hesitation. "Meredith, our children, they're everything in the world to me."

Addison smiled sadly, both happy and sad. Happy that Mark finally seemed to have found that inner peace that had so long alluded him and sad that another woman had been able to give it to him when she hadn't...

"We didn't fit, Addie." Mark said quietly. "We never would have. We fooled ourselves, but the truth is, we just weren't meant for each other. We were never what the other one needed."

Addison didn't know what to say to that. Maybe he was right, but on the other hand she'd spent a lot of years trying to forget Mark and move on, but the truth was no other man compared.

Derek had been her husband, but it was Mark she dreamed of late at night. Mark who didn't seem to miss her at all, far from it in fact, he seemed perfectly content with his life.

The life he shared with Meredith Grey of all people. Of course, she had known that before, had known it for sure for four years--unable to forget how Mark had been when he was in danger of losing his wife and unborn child.

That had been the hardest case Addison had ever taken on, but she had hoped it would bring her closure. It hadn't, not really, but there was nothing she could do.

She had left Mark, had gone back to her husband, and it was her own fault that she was alone now while Mark had made a life with another woman.

"Addie?" Mark said softly, drifting Addison out of her thoughts.

"Sorry." She said, forcing a smile. "Just reflecting... Funerals make me do that." She looked around the room, desperate for an escape and spotted one. "Excuse me, I'm going to say hello to Miranda."

With that she hurried away, unable to stand talking to Mark for a moment longer. It just hurt too much.

* * *

Mark watched Addison hurry away, knowing he had made her uncomfortable and sighed.

What he had said was the truth, he and Addison didn't fit, they never had. He'd loved her once, he really had, but...

He couldn't help wonder if he had loved her _because_ she was Derek's wife, because she represented everything he secretly wanted from his own life. He certainly had never loved her the way he loved Meredith, with every fibre of his being.

Maybe they had both known that, even back then, and maybe that was why she had gone back to Derek. Of course, he hadn't loved her either, by that point.

Mark felt bad for Addison, but... They would never have been happy together, he knew that now.

Mark went and found his wife, who was deep in conversation with Izzie. "We should head out soon." He told her quietly. "Go relieve Abbie of our monsters and you shouldn't be on your feet."

"He's right." Izzie agreed with a smile. "You've had a long day and I bet right now that you could use some rest."

Meredith made a face, but nodded. "Ok."

"We'll come by the house later tonight." Izzie promised, leaning into give Meredith a hug.

"Great." Mark told her. "I'll cook dinner." 

"Which means it'll be edible." Meredith said with a laugh and then let Mark lead her away. They said their good-byes to a few more people, though avoiding Derek and Addison, and then left.

"That was..." Meredith began.

"Awkward." Mark finished.

"And we didn't even talk to Derek." Meredith said, making a slight face.

"Oh, that's a pity." Mark said dryly. "You're okay, honey?"

She nodded, leaning into him for a moment when they reached their car. "Take me home." She told him softly.

Mark smiled, kissed her forehead and then got in the car, ready to fulfil his wife's request.

* * *


	6. Part Six: Long Time Gone

As Time Goes By  
By Misha  
_  
Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Six: Long Time Gone  
_  
Chicago, 2011_

"Addison, we need you."

Addison sighed into the phone. "Preston..."

"Addison, I have a high risk case--both the mother and child are in danger." Preston told her. "You're the best."

Addison sighed. She hated the idea of going back to Seattle, there was nothing there for her, only things she'd rather forget. Yet... "Tell me about the case." She said after a long moment.

Preston explained the details of the case, though Addison sensed that there was something he wasn't telling her, but... Listening to the details, Addison had to admit he had a point. It sounded like a dangerous situation and the operation required could only be done by a handful of surgeons and she was one of them. Addison sighed, she knew that she couldn't turn Preston down. She had no pressing cases at the moment and this woman... Well, it was dire.

"I'll be there in the morning." Addison said finally.

"Addison, there's one thing I should tell you..." Preston said hesitantly. "The patient... It's Meredith."

Addison froze. "Meredith Grey?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes." Preston confirmed. "Well, Meredith Sloane now, but..."

Addison shut her eyes in disbelief. Fate hated her.

"Addison, I'd understand if you..." Preston began.

"No." Addison said quietly. "I'll be there."

The fact that Meredith was the patient didn't change the facts. As much as Addison really didn't want to face Mark and Meredith, she was a doctor and she couldn't turn her back on a patient in need.

"Thank you." Preston said quietly. "I know..."

"It's okay." Addison said quietly. "I'll be there in the morning."

* * *

"I spoke to Addison, she'll be here in the morning." Preston told Mark.

Mark nodded, feeling the first relief her had felt in days, since they had gotten the news that Meredith's pregnancy wasn't going well. After all, personal complications aside, Addison was the best. If anyone could save Meredith and the baby it'd be her.

That said, he still felt torn about her coming there, it just seemed cruel, since he knew she and Derek had divorced and he knew that he and Meredith were part of the reason. They had survived Derek and Addison, but Derek and Addison hadn't survived them.

"She's their best chance." Preston said quietly, obviously reading Mark's mind.

Mark nodded, knowing that his friend spoke the truth. Meredith's situation was bad, very bad, and if they were going to save her and they baby, then they needed the best and well... Addison was the best.

He was just so grateful that she was willing to personal differences aside and come help. No words could ever describe how grateful he was for that.

* * *

Addison fought to remain calm as she stepped foot in Seattle Grace for the first time since the end of her marriage. When she'd left, she'd honestly thought she'd never come back and yet here she was, and because of Meredith Grey of all people.

"Addison!"

Addison turned at the sound of Preston's voice. "Preston." She acknowledged, accepting his hug. "How is she?"

Preston looked grave. "Not good, Addie. She's six months pregnant and there's no guarantee that either she or the baby will survive."

Addison nodded, knowing he spoke the truth. She needed to think of this as just another patient, not of the woman who stole her husband and then turned around and married her lover, the love of her life.

"Does she know I was called?" Addison asked, a bit curious that Meredith had agreed to let her treat her after their history.

Preston nodded. "Yes, Mark, Christina and I were able to convince her that you were the best chance she and the baby have."

Addison knew it was true. Neither one of them liked it, but Addison was Meredith's best hope and for Addison, maybe this case would give her the closure she needed so badly.

It wouldn't be easy, and she had wondered if maybe she should have refused to help, because it was too personal, but... Preston wouldn't have called her if there had been other options, so she had to put her feelings aside and just consider Meredith Sloane another patient.

She was a good doctor, she could do this, and when she did, well maybe she'd finally be able to let go and move on.

* * *


	7. Part Seven: Basketcase

As Time Goes By  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Seven: Basketcase

_Seattle, 2008_

"It's kind of sad." Christina remarked.

"What's kinda sad?" Meredith asked her, absently flipping through a baby name book.

"The death of dark and twisty Meredith." Christina told her. "Bright, shiny Meredith isn't nearly as much fun."

Meredith laughed. "Sorry my happiness upsets you."

"You're so calm." Izzie commented. "I mean, the old Meredith would be freaking out about getting married tomorrow."

"I'm not the old Meredith." Meredith said with a smile. "Meredith Grey, she was dark and twisty and broken, Meredith Sloane, she's gonna be bright, shiny and together."

Izzie and Christina exchanged looks. "You are way too calm." Christina decided. "Is McSteamy drugging you or something."

Meredith laughed. "Pregnancy will do that to you."

Christina wrinkled her nose. "I can't believe you're so happy about having McSteamy's spawn."

Meredith stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Please refrain from calling my baby "spawn"." She said pertly.

Izzie shook her head. "I agree with Christina, who are you and what have you done with Meredith?"

Meredith simply smiled. "Sorry, this is who I am now and this new happy Meredith is here to stay."

"Well, at least until you catch McSteamy screwing some nurse." Izzie stated offhanded.

Meredith and Christina stared at her in shock. "What did you just say?" Meredith demanded.

Izzie paled. "Mer, I'm sorry, just... Well, people don't really change do they?"

"Is this some Alex issue?" Meredith demanded. "Or is this just you being a complete and total bitch?"

"Meredith, I'm sorry." Izzie said again.

"Leave." Christina ordered before Meredith could.

Izzie stared at her.

"Leave." Christina repeated. "Meredith's happy. She's getting married tomorrow, she's having a baby and she's finally figured out to have a happy life despite all her emotional baggage and... We can mock her, but we're not gonna tear her down. I won't let you."

Izzie started to protest some more, but one look told her Christina wasn't backing down, so she finally turned and left.

"Do you believe that?" Meredith asked when Izzie was gone. "No." Christina told her. "Sloane loves you Meredith. Don't listen to Izzie, she's just a jealous bitch."

But the seed had been planted and a little bit of the shiny had worn off.

* * *

"What do you want Izzie?" Alex demanded.

It was one in the morning, he had best man duties to attend to the next day, and the last thing he needed was to deal with his ex-girlfriend.

"I said something awful." Izzie confessed. "I told Meredith I thought Sloane would cheat on her."

Alex stared at Izzie, incredulous. "You told her _what_?" Izzie just hung her head.

"Why would you do that?!" Alex demanded.

"I don't know." Izzie admitted. "I just... It just slipped out. I mean how can she trust him? He's a gigantic man whore."

"He used to be." Alex stated calmly. "But he's not anymore. He loves her, Izzie, and when a man truly loves a woman he's never going to cheat on her, he won't even be able to comprehend it."

Alex could see her flinch at his words, but he didn't apologize. The truth was, he'd never loved Izzie, he'd been attracted to her and he liked her, but it wasn't love.

"How did she do it?" Izzie asked bitterly. "She gets everything, she even managed to reform the surgery world's biggest playboy."

Alex sighed. He knew what this was about, Izzie had always been jealous of Meredith though she hid it well.

"This is about Meredith, isn't it?" He asked, trying to stay patient.

Izzie sighed. "She's my friend, but... God, she has everything! She was born **so **privileged--money, connections, even her residency has been a cake walk, there was never a moment of doubt that Seattle Grace wouldn't accept her. She's never had to fight."

Alex looked at her in disbelief. "Are you saying _Meredith _had it too easy?"

Meredith was the only person Alex knew who's childhood was on par with his. Her parents had sucked and that was one of the reasons she'd been so screwed up.

Izzie blushed. "I know that." She said plaintively. "I just..."

"Get over it." Alex said bluntly. "You grew up in trailer park, Meredith grew up in Boston, Christina grew up in Beverly HIlls, but they had as many struggles as you did. Money doesn't make life easier, you should know that."

Izzie just looked pain. "I guess... I just..."

"Well, whatever your problem is, Meredith doesn't need it right now." Alex said coldly. "So either stay quiet or just don't show up tomorrow. Okay?"

He knew he was harsh, but he couldn't help it, this was _Meredith_, she brought out the protective side in him.

* * *

"You ok?"

Meredith smiled, though the person on the other end of the phone couldn't see. "I'm fine." She assured him. "You talked to Izzie?"

Alex sighed. "Yeah, she showed up here all upset over what she said."

Meredith sighed. "What's her problem?"

"I don't know." Alex told her. "But don't worry about her. She's wrong, Mark adores you."

"I know." Meredith said and the truth was she did. Izzie's words had wounded, but they hadn't shaken because for the first time in her life, Meredith actually felt confident in someone else's love. She **knew** that Mark loved her, knew it without the shadow of a doubt.

"Good." Alex told her. "You deserve this happy ending more than anyone else I know."

"Thank you." Meredith said sincerely. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Somehow, Alex had become more dear to her than almost anyone else. He was her shoulder to lean on, hr friend, her kindred spirit.

"Anytime." Alex told her and she could hear the emotion in his voice. "Now get some sleep, you're getting married in the morning."

Meredith smiled and then signed off. She gave a happy little sigh, she could barely believe it but tomorrow she'd be Mrs. Mark Sloane, who could believe it?

* * *


End file.
